what I learnt about dating as a teenager -(for your next e-book)
nothing.
I wanted sex and plenty of it. Groping and cuddling and girls who were fun to be with and didn’t interupt my words of wisdom or anything else.
If I wanted to see THIS movie – then they should want to see THIS movie.
If I wanted to leave the party NOW – they should leave the party NOW.
I had a hair trigger jealousy factor. But didn’t understand their concerns or jealous moods
I had a rule never date the same girl for more than three months. No matter what.Her feelings were irrelevant. My feelings counted.
( if they left me, I would be devastated for weeks and barely able to think straight)
I remember the first really serious girlfriend I had (I mean SERIOUS) eventually she got so sick of my ways (read – selfish egotistical) that she left me and refused my phone calls etc.
She moved 200 miles away from me. I badgered her and badgered her to come back. Used every ploy and lie and turn I knew. And when she came back I left her.
My understands of human intercourse (and sexual intercourse come to that) were nil. And I wasn’t about to learn, because well – I knew so much.
So- dont do any of the above.
Perhaps try these tips when you are with someone on a first date
* Be attentive, and this does not involve the ears, you need to observe those unspoken words and signs from the other person. Be sensitive, it really matters a lot.
* Do not think about the event in a very serious demeanor. It may just put you under so much pressure. Think of the fact that you are here to get to know each other, have the best time and make the most out of the special event of your lives.
* Avoid dominating the conversation especially for men. Make it sure that your voice volume is in moderation and you talk with the person in a sincere manner. When you do this, you would be listened to not only on that very time but in more conversations to come. You have to remember that generally people love it when others listen to them.
* No discussions about ex-partners and of course about sex. This goes out both ways, no matter how the other person tempts you, be reminded that when out on a date, and you are in a conversation about such matters, less is more.
* Give the singular focus to your date. Do not be too distracted with other people around you, no matter how attractive the woman in at the next table is. Any person likes that attention from the opposite sex. Keep focused.
* Be witty. (If you can – at least be straightforward) This is the most attractive point you could flaunt to your date. Nothing beats having a really fun but wholesome conversation.No need to discuss world politics and banging the table as you do.
Lastly 3 more tips
- Observe punctuality.(not my strong point – even now)
Time matters in almost any meeting or activity, it matters most in a date especially if it is the first date. Cliché as it may seem but first impressions last and you have to take good care of your date’s impression of you. It may mean something negative if you fail to arrive on time. You may have all the excuses, but you have to show the best efforts in order not to be late.
- Remind yourself that you are just excited and not nervous
That strange pump of your heart is just going to distract you from doing well and enjoying your time. Well, it is but normal to feel that way but do not allow it to swallow you and stop you from doing the things you wanted to do. If you cannot stand the feeling, see to it that you divert that emotion to something that is more positive. Instead of feeling nervous, you have to remind yourself that you are just excited. This could really help you ease the burden of being worried or pressured. Being nervous does not help you (or your date) out.But if you really cant beat it – tell her/him – “gee I am so nervous” – because…
- Honesty is still the best policy
You do not have to impress your date by telling tall tales. Sincerity and honesty would always lead you to that acceptance from others. With your honest way of opening yourself to that person you choose to go out with, you would surely reap a warm and honest treatment as well. You could appear impressive without being dishonest. When you are true to what you say and feel, it exudes.
part 2 – How to Ask Someone Out on a Date
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